“Your scars are someone else’s signs of hope.” This quote posted on Instagram spoke to me. Many have asked me – told me – rather that I needed to write about my experience with Tbi. I didn’t because I didn’t want to whine on paper basically. And, I prefer to talk about where I’m going instead of where I’m coming from. Although I’ve said all along if my experience could help someone else, I would help. I’ve finally reached a point where I feel okay putting some stuff out there, and I firmly believe that good will come from it….that beauty will rise from ashes. I do hope that my experience will make things better for someone. Really, I don’t want to help just one someone else. I hope to somehow be a part of change in the bigger picture, for everyone who finds themselves swept into what I can only call a pit of pure struggle. I don’t believe that a brain injury has to be a life sentence or that CTE has to be the end result. I believe that we’re only scratching the surface and that our bodies and brains are too amazing not to be able to overcome.
Defiance Training Corp was ultimately given that name because of those beliefs. It was built out of those beliefs. I “started” it a few years back while in the throes of Tbi. I was struggling with absolutely everything and, quite frankly, fighting for my life. I wasn’t working, nor should I have been. But I needed to make money – wanted to make money, feel productive, feel useful….like I had a purpose. Healing should have been primary focus, but it wasn’t. Unfortunately it couldn’t be for many reasons. Many other battles had to be fought as well. Starting a business was what I thought was the answer to one of those battles. “I can train folks,” I thought. “I know this stuff!” And I did. That was one area that I still felt like me. However, communication was a problem….along with MANY other things. So reality is I started Defiance in formality. I named it, filed with the state and even had a logo and business cards done up. I seriously thought I could do it, but that is where it sat for a few years.
As frustrating as the sitting period was, I’m glad it sat. I’ve learned so much, grown so much, healed and evolved. So Defiance Training Corp and what I want to do with it has too. My eyes have been opened and I’ve gone from wanting to simply train folks in sports performance and get people into shape, to using movement as a way to help others heal. Movement was crucial in my journey. It’s not completely responsible for how far I’ve come, but it played a huge role. I thoroughly believe it was necessary. My understanding of that has expanded greatly as has my understanding of the detriments of chronic inflammation on us as a society. That inflammation must be addressed for healing to occur so I had to take into account not only how I moved, but how I rested, what nutrients I was getting and how my body responded to them. I now know that those are major players in pretty much any injury or illness and if given the right environment, our bodies can overcome and we can defy odds.
Defiance was started to give me a purpose, and it did. I fought hard to get here. That purpose now feels a bit bigger. There’s much more to accomplish. Defiance was named that because a hard head was thinking, “Yeah, I’ll defy the odds.” I hadn’t at that point, but now I have. And I’m not finished with that part. I’m not where I want to be yet. I’m still climbing up and will continue to do so. I have no doubt that I’ll get to where I want to go. Even writing about it is a show of improvement. I’ve been embarrassed and afraid to let others know for fear that they would not only judge my ability to train them but also my sanity. Well, here ya go. I’m putting it out there, letting you know that I had a brain injury. It straight kicked my ass, but I’m up, I’m standing and I’m swinging back. If I can, you can too.
You don’t lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down. — Muhammad Ali
Defiance Training Corp 
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